Patient care

I have had the privilege recently of going with my dad to his dr appointment. Sadly he was diagnosed with esophageal cancer and has been trying to manage the healthcare system. Now, as you all know I am a psychotherapist who has worked in healthcare for over 30 years. My expectations for the medical profession remain high. I expect patients to be treated with respect, compassion, and dignity. Yet I'm again frustrated by the lack of genuine empathy and common courtesies we want from our doctors and their staff. Scenario: dad walks into the room. Nurse does not look up but stares at his computer and quickly reads off questions, and types furiously filling in the blanks. Then he asks,"when were you diagnosed, what else do you have, depressed?" My dad softly responds with a look of despair in his eyes. I start to tear up. The nurse never breaks his stare with the computer. The dr walks in, introduces himself, asks some questions and listens. Then gives some quick advice and a referral to yet another specialist...delaying treatment. Then, he asks have you lost weight? Depressed? We answer in unison, "yes". The dr says ok here are some instructions, nice meeting you and kindly walks out. The same scenario plays over and over again with patients of all ages, races, and backgrounds. Wait, he was just diagnosed with cancer and no one might perhaps ask how are you coping??? Would you like to talk with someone? Would you like information on support groups? Resources? Medications to ease the depression or anxiety? In all my years of being a therapist, mom, daughter and patient myself.. No one asks. Physicians don't seem to know or care. Is it too time consuming? Is it not billable? I'm very disappointed with the quality of care, when our providers are too cold to ask the obvious.